A Guideline to Better Sessions

Are you an unsatisfied submissive?

Do you often leave your sessions feeling a strong sense of disappointment?

Do you fail to make the type of connection that your little servant soul so desires?

Have you ran through various dommes faster then a fat kid chasing an ice-cream truck and yet, each falls short of your spectacular expectations?

If you’ve answered yes to any or all of these questions, then guess what sweetheart, the problem isn’t her…it’s you. I know at first brush this may be a bit much for your little slutty mouth to swallow, but luckily for you I’ve been kind enough to assemble an easy to follow list of ways you may be inadvertently sabotaging your sessions.

This way you can make a conscious effort to avoid these fatal mistakes and make the most out of your time while valuing hers.

1. You have a rigorous set of demands: As much as I appreciate the time you took out of your busy day to write me a never-ending email entailing a step-by step guide on how you’d like your session to unfold you’ve just completely stifled my creativity while simultaneously taking the joy out of my experience…way to go. I understand that sometimes, (particularly pertaining to role-play) there are certain notes you want to hit and that’s fine, but don’t be so unwavering that we find ourselves going through a chronological agenda that is going to play out mechanically. If there’s no freedom for me to do what I do best don’t be surprised when the result is mediocre.

2. Your fantasy is too rigid: It’s my job to play out your fantasies, and believe it or not I get as much satisfaction out of the scenario as you, but subs, understand that when you build up an ideal in your mind so precise that the slightest infraction will ruin it, you’re setting us both up for failure. Please, by all means, tell me all about the dirty dark fantasies you’ve had about Sister Ann Marie, the unconventional hot nun that instructed your second grade class. Reminisce about the endless hours she spent disciplining you with the broad side of her paddle…really I’m intrigued; but understand you just spent the last 40 some-odd years jerking off to something you’ve built up in your mind so enormous that the reality can never live up to the fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be more then happy to treat you like the naughty school boy you are, force your pants down to your ankles and beat that rebellious butt until the feeling of my hand is forever imprinted on your mind, shit I’ll even wear the clergy veil; but please understand at the end of the day I’m not Sister Ann Marie, so when you fail to differentiate the two it’s going to end in disappointment. The truth is, although you may think you’re trying to replicate the person, what you’re really trying to replicate is the experience. You are seeking the feelings that fueled that fantasy in the first place. If you allow me to discipline you in the way that only I know best you may be pleased to find that I evoke something in you that surpasses what you expected and offer you a reality that exceeds your wildest dreams.

3. You don’t properly communicate what you want: Sometimes (especially for subs new to the game) you don’t know exactly what you want, and that’s fine. I get immense pleasure out of breaking newbies in, we establish a few limits, respect a few boundaries, and before you know it your discovering things about yourself that you never knew existed and I’m taking you to places you’ve never been before. However, if you’re a vet, with particular taste, and know exactly what you want you need to communicate that. When I ask you what your interests are (unless you’re that 1%) don’t say everything because we both know that’s a Goddamn lie. I don’t give a fuck if your forte is rubbing Jell-O cut outs in the shape of Abraham Lincoln on your nipples while you stare at my little toe, everyone has their thing, and if that’s yours then fucking say it. Too often subs will tell me what they think I want to hear, when in reality what I want to hear is the truth. As much as I appreciate your eagerness to please me, a great deal of my pleasure comes from your satisfaction. I’m an incredibly intuitive person, and I may be able to read your body, but I can’t read your fucking mind. So speak up.

4. You want something I don’t offer: I’m talking about SEX. Don’t call me asking for some retarded shit like a fucking shaft massage, if you want a hand job call a hooker.

5. You think you want one thing, but actually want another: The beautiful thing about fantasy is that it can exceed the bounds of reality, sometimes they coincide, and sometimes they don’t, but you need to know the difference. It’s ok to have a fantasy about being burned with a suturing iron, it’s even ok to talk about it, but it’s a different thing entirely to do it. I personally don’t do anything that leaves permanent damage, but some dommes do, and if you ask for it, specifically if you are doing a no safe word session, that little scenario that you like to daydream about is going to turn into a nightmare pretty quickly. This pertains mostly to sadistic sessions; you may get off on the idea of certain sadisms, but theirs a big difference between talking about something and actually doing it. You need to differentiate what sounds like a good idea, and what actually is one. I have a lot of clients that like to talk about a certain deeds while in session, but would never actually want to play them out in real life. Not everyone can tell the difference, and not everyone cares to. You need to learn what it is you actually want, and you need to convey that properly or you run the risk of ending up with scars not only on the body, but the psyche as well, which are a lot harder to mend.

Well subbies, I hope that this was helpful; play nice boys:)

-Mistress Kayla